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My oldest daughter Beth lived the homosexual
lifestyle for almost 24 years. Never once, during that time, did we hear
“Mom, I’m gay.” Beth is the oldest of my four children from my first
marriage and this is our story. When
my children were 4 to 11 years old, their Dad chose to walk out on us.
Fourteen months later I was granted a divorce. Times were difficult for us,
but with Christ we stayed active in church. Unable to afford a sitter on my
salary, Beth became the main caretaker of her siblings while I worked. I was
in such depression, I didn’t realize the problems I was presenting to my
children because of this. Beth lost her childhood and her siblings resented
her position over them. There are still some repercussions over this.
About eight and a half years after the
divorce, I met a Christian man – someone who won the approval of each of the
children. Ten years after the divorce from my children’s father, Fred and I
planned to be married. In January of 1979, we went to a local mall to shop
for our wedding rings. After we made the purchase, we turned to leave the
store and froze in our tracks. Beth and a girl were walking together in the
mall. They were hand-in-hand and kissing each other – on the lips. Needless
to say, we were shocked.
Fred took me home and waited with me until
Beth came in. He confronted her about her behavior and her excuse was “My
friend had bad news and I was comforting her.”
This girl was a girl from our church! We
knew her Christian mother! Her sister was my assistant teacher in Sunday
School! This behavior was not what we expected from either of these young
ladies and I – I felt numb, ashamed, guilty, and grief-stricken. My children
were raised in church and each had made a decision for Christ in their
childhood. We were active in church, and I had seen nothing out of the
ordinary in Beth’s life that would cause me to question her lifestyle.
Two days after this incident, Beth had her
twenty-first birthday. The next day, Fred married me, in spite of it all.
Being an only child raised by his father, Fred had no idea of what the
future held for him, for us, or for the children who were then 14 to 21.
Fred confronted Beth one morning a few
months after we were married. At the time, Beth was working as a bartender
and had brought an unknown girl home to spend the night. They were in bed
together, asleep. It wasn’t long before Beth moved out and shared a rental
unit with yet another “friend.” That “friend” came with Beth when she’d
visit us. She joined us on holidays and for birthday celebrations. They
never behaved in any questionable way, in our presence. We were always
dealing with unconfirmed suspicions regarding her life. It was extremely
unsettling.
Shortly after this relationship ended, Beth
(who had been in the Air Force Reserves) elected to join the active Air
Force. Later Beth would tell me this was when she openly lived the
homosexual lifestyle. Over the years, when Beth would visit home and go to
church with us, she would respond to the invitation to give her heart and
life to Christ. Then she would leave, and resume life as she had before.
When it was time for reenlistment, Beth did
not reenlist. Instead, she had a baby. They were living in another state,
and Beth had another partner. When our granddaughter was about five years
old, Beth sold her home there and moved back to Ohio. Other partners entered
the picture.
When our granddaughter was 12 years old, she was diagnosed with leukemia. It
was then, January 2001, that Beth came to the realization that God
could/might take her daughter unless she changed her way of living. Beth
again came to God for forgiveness. She has had some serious temptations, but
turned to God, and He has been faithful to her to provide that way of escape
which is promised in Scripture.
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